Show me some sign.... ALLAH.

The past few months I feel like I'm slowly straying away further and further from the Almighty. Too many things that is currently happening in the world has this word on them or link with them : ALLAH. I'm thinking why is this so? Is our religion really sucks or is it the people that believe and have faith in this religion are the one who is sucks? I've read some sites about Islam and also some blogs about Islam. And most of them says that Islam is beautiful, pure and is a way of life. It's not just a religion where you put your faith in it, but a way of life. But how come I didn't feel so? I've been praying the way I was thought since I can remember,but why does all this rituals doesn't make me feel very close to Him? Why is some of my questions were left unanswered or were told not to ask b'cos it can lead to astray? It doesn't make sense that by merely asking can lead someone to astray. My believe is that it can lead to a better understanding and hopefully closer to your maker.

The other thing is that why can't we talk or discuss about it? When does discussion about our own faith has become a sensitive issue? Why can't we argue without being told to just accept what has been told by the mullahs/imams/ustaz etc ? Why can't we take our own initiative to do research, study, read about the noble Quran ourself without being told not to do so without any guru? Why? Why? Why?